Court Orders Accused Killer to Send Police a Selfie Every Hour
Sometimes the world writes satire for us. In New South Wales, Australia, a Supreme Court ruling has turned one man’s bail conditions into the kind of story you’d expect from a late-night comedy sketch. Instead of just checking in once a week, this accused murderer has been ordered to send his bail officer a selfie every single hour.
Yes — the man’s freedom now comes with an alarm clock and a front-facing camera.
The accused, who is awaiting trial for murder charges, was granted bail under a set of restrictions that feel more like an influencer’s posting schedule than a legal requirement. Courts typically use ankle monitors, curfews, or routine check-ins, but this judge decided that constant selfies would be the most efficient way to keep tabs on him.
On paper, the idea makes sense: a low-cost digital solution in a system with overcrowded prisons and limited manpower. In practice, it’s a logistical nightmare. What if the man’s phone dies? What if he’s in an area with no signal? What if his bail officer simply can’t stomach scrolling through 24 hours’ worth of selfies of a guy sitting on his couch?
Critics are already questioning whether the order is enforceable. Technology fails, phones crash, and people sleep — but the ruling requires a photo every hour, no exceptions. Miss one and he could be in breach of bail. Legal analysts worry it sets an impossible standard, but others argue it’s a clever way to avoid round-the-clock physical monitoring.
Naturally, the internet has had a field day. Social media users have dubbed him the “world’s most reluctant influencer,” with memes imagining him experimenting with filters, duck faces, and dramatic lighting just to break the monotony. If nothing else, he’ll end up with the most consistent photo diary in history.
Beyond the humor, this case highlights the growing role of tech in criminal justice. From GPS bracelets to facial-recognition apps, digital tools are becoming part of the legal system’s toolkit. But this ruling takes the trend to an absurd extreme — essentially turning law enforcement into an endless selfie thread.
For now, the accused’s life has been reduced to 60-minute intervals, each one punctuated by the snap of his camera. Whether this keeps him accountable or collapses under its own impracticality, one thing is certain: “selfie probation” has already secured its spot in the record books of bizarre bail conditions.
The Absurd Takeaway
Only in today’s world could “send us hourly selfies” be considered a serious legal strategy. Somewhere between justice and Instagram, we’ve stumbled into a courtroom absurdity that would make Kafka proud.
Source: ‘Bizarre’ bail condition placed on accused killer Ayman Manly sparks outrage | 7NEWS